In this article, Marriage Demystified For Singles—The Analogy Of The Shoe, marriage is demystified for the single using the shoe analogy.
The relevance of the subject matter cannot be overemphasized, as singles continue to have varying and difficult understandings of marriage.
Marriage seems elusive to many of today’s singles.
I hope that the analogy of shoes portrayed in this article WILL facilitate the reawakening of many.
Every single person out there, ready for marriage must have it at the back of their minds that “MARRIAGE is synonymous to a shoe.
When you wear an oversized shoe, be ready to drag it along throughout life, and on the other hand, when you wear an undersized shoe, you must be ready to feel the pains throughout life”.
Marriage Demystified For Singles – The Analogy Of The Shoe
Before you get married ask yourself the following questions:-
- Why do you want to get married?
The answer to this question is very important. Is it because you want someone to pay the bills? Take care of your emotional and physical needs.
Often we treat marriage the same — a formal contract based on happiness or legal benefit of some sort.
“As long as we have sex, the bills are paid, and I’m happy, I’ll stay with you.” Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that.
Life is not a bed full of roses. Be ready to face what you haven’t expected. The essence of marriage is a sacrificial commitment to the good of the other. It unites not just duty and passion, but emotions and promise.
- Marriage doesn’t fix your problems
Marriage does not fix your problems. What it does is that it gives you someone, who will hold your hand and help you in walking through your problems.
Even if you are courting each other for a year or so, or living together for a long time, there is a probability that the issues you thought were small earlier will become significant after the marriage.
Are you both ready to hold each other’s hands and walk through that tough phase of life?
Let me share my friend’s experience with you. My friend and his girlfriend (now wife) were in a live-in relationship before they got married.
My friend was messy, he used to keep the house very dirty, believe me, I have been to his house and his girlfriend used to think the messiness was cute.
However, after their wedding, she got tired of keeping the house clean and they had a nasty fight about it (such a small issue isn’t it?). I am glad they worked out things though.
Marriage Demystified For Singles – The Analogy Of The Shoe
- Does your intending spouse deserve you?
The above question could better be rephrased as: Is your intending spouse a reflection of dreaming you?
Imagine the following exchanges :
Girl to Her Boyfriend: I want to be an air hostess.
Boy to Her Mom: Mom, Air hostess is such a cool job.
Mom: It’s awful, and disrespectful, people in this society do not respect an air hostess.
Boy to his Girlfriend: My Mom will never let you be an air hostess, you have to choose between me and your dream.
The message here is the significance of acknowledging and accepting the dreams of your intending spouse.
Dreams!!!!! Everyone has a dream, remember it before you marry someone.
Talk to your loved one about your dream. If they love you, they will support you.
Your Job and your dream an important things that you should remember before getting married.
Never compromise on it for the sake of someone.
The right people will just fit into your life and understand your dream. This is something I always see some ladies compromise on after marriage. It is very unnecessary.
- Know your partner and the family – Very important.
In Marriage, it’s important both for the man and woman to be comfortable with each other’s families, and respect and love them like their own.
Will you be able to do that?
- Respect is more important than love.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that love is not important but respect is more important than love.
There are many cases where couples choose to stay together even though the love had died long before.
Sometimes to support their children till they grow up, or to attain financial security.
On the contrary, once you lose respect for your partner, you won’t be able to coexist. You can revive lost love and you should, but disrespect is irreparable.
One thing about marriage is that you don’t drop your shoe or remove it at any point, no matter how painful or stressful it is.
That is why I thought it necessary to write you this letter.
Dear Singles, when you are ready to buy your shoe, please take note of the following three important things :
- Physical Appearance
Do not look for beautiful shoes, nice shoes or cheap shoes but look for the shoe that is your size.
Not every handsome, wealthy or intelligent guy is for you. Not every beautiful woman is for you.
Look for the one that is meant for you. The one that aligns with your values and beliefs.
The one who you meet during your life’s journey. It is important to know where you’re going in life before you think of getting a wife.
Marriage Demystified For Singles – The Analogy Of The Shoe
- Position
All sizes of shoes are not placed in the same place. There is a place for court shoes, laced-up shoes, sports footwear, sneakers etc.
We also have children’s sizes, young people’s sizes and adult sizes.
Know where to get your shoe.
Your size cannot be everywhere my brother. Your type cannot be everywhere my sister. You cannot be a Christian, and be looking for a wife material at a club.
Your wife or husband can’t just be everywhere. Stick to your values and therein you shall find someone like you, but when your values are not defined anyone can just match you. Discover yourself and define your values.
- Perception
In this kind of shoe-purchasing enterprise, you may not want to try the shoe before you buy it.
This is why it is important to seek guidance and counselling from people who have bought shoes before or are in the business of directing people to the right shoes (Pastors and Relationship coaches).
Avoid much time-wasting by simply consulting the SHOE MANUFACTURER to tell you your size (GOD ALMIGHTY).
It is important to note that “You do not prepare for the wedding, you prepare for marriage.
Ladies these days get so motivated when they attend the wedding and they will quickly want to say yes to that guy.
Wait!!! It is not just the wedding. The wedding is just a day celebration. After the wedding celebration WHAT NEXT?
Finally, it is not something you rush to the market and just pick a shoe because you like or can purchase it.
Ask questions: –
- Where is this shoe made from? (Background)
- What’s the size? (Values)
- How much? (His/ Her interest)
- How long will it last? (His/ Her Character)
- Who made it? (Is She/ He of the same faith as me… This is compatibility)
- Will it match me? (This is whether he/she loves you and will accept you the way you are or who you are). Etcetera…
In conclusion, have it at the back of your mind that many are dragging their foot and they would hardly reach their destinies.
Many are feeling endless pain and wish they could pull off the shoes but no way!!!
I have seen people with beautiful shoes and when they show you their feet, you will see scars.
Beloved, it is not about the physical, it is the size, you can’t know the size from afar so come close.
Build a relationship first before any other thing.
For those who have purchased the wrong shoes, you can still make it your size again, if you’d consult the manufacturer, and let Him have His way in your marriage.
God bless us all.
Marriage Demystified For Singles – The Analogy Of The Shoe
