This article aims at provoking debates on how to use conscience development to mould children’s value system.
I hope you will find it useful as we dig into the importance of conscience development and value moulding in children.
Children are unique. The way children learn values, simply put, is by observing what you do, and drawing conclusions about what you think is important in life.
Regardless of what you consciously teach them, your children will emerge from childhood with clear views on what their parents really value, and with a well-developed value system of their own.
Parents have different parenting styles and passions, but when it comes to helping children grow out of some of their most difficult problems, there’s nothing that does a better job than addressing the heart and building internal motivation in kids.
Parents who incorporate the conscience into their parenting actually do things differently on a day-to-day basis.
I’m not just talking about having one conversation with your child about the conscience and then going on as before.
New tools develop that take the place of much of the intensity that can drain a family’s emotional resources.
Significance of Conscience Development
One of the greatest strategies you can use to foster conscience development has to do with the power of your voice, because what you say and how you say it impacts your child’s heart.
In fact, if you think back to your own childhood, you can likely hear the words of your dad or your mom.
“Turn off the lights when you leave a room.” “Eat your vegetables. They’re good for you.” “Money just burns a hole in your pocket.” Your leg is always cutting slippers.”
One mom said, “Sometimes I’m talking to my kids and say something profound or important, and I’m shocked. I realize that I sound just like my mother.”
What parents say leaves a marked impression on their children’s hearts.
Unfortunately, many parents spend too much time talking about what children are doing wrong and not what they need to do right instead. They say things like, “Would you cut it out!” “Stop it!” “When are you going to get it right?” “You’re making me upset here.” “I can’t believe you keep doing this.”
Rather, parents would do much better thinking about what they want their children to say in their hearts and then using their own statements to their children to coaching them to that end.
One dad told of his challenge with his son who has attention-deficit/ hyperactivity disorder.
As you might imagine, these children can be magnets for correction. Dad realized that his words to his son were strategic as he coached him in life every day, many times a day.
He and his wife developed a list of things they would say to their son to help him stay on track.
The list was made up of statements they wanted him to say to himself, and included things such as, “Slow motion.” “Quiet voice.” “Think before you speak.” “Maybe you need to take a break.” “Manage your energy.”
Their approach provided a positive way to keep their son moving toward the goal of developing self-control in his life.
The Bible reveals that people meditate on things in their hearts. Psalm 19:14 says May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Notice where the meditation takes place — in the heart.
When parents choose their words carefully, they’re contributing to the right kind of meditation for their children.
Too many kids say unhelpful things in their hearts.
Parents can write the script of things that are more appropriate.
As mummies and daddies correct, instruct, remind, and coach their children throughout the day, they can go back to the pre-determined list and use it for ideas of what to say.
Writing the script for your children moulds their thinking and helps develop the right beliefs in their hearts.
It’s one of the significant ways that parents can influence what children believe about life.
The conscience is on a hunt for right and wrong, looking for promptings to provide to the heart.
A parent’s words are important in a child’s life. They linger in the heart and become food for the conscience.
Although the conscience isn’t the ultimate authority in a person’s life, it is a tool that helps keep the heart moving in the right direction.
It needs training and is only as reliable as it is nurtured and equipped.
Parents ultimately contribute to conscience development by carefully choosing their words and teaching their children that their words have value.
https://www.morganable.com/the-quest-for-royal-supremacy/
https://www.ahaparenting.com/read/values
https://www.morganable.com/21st-century-parenting-raising-todays-children-beyond-your-niche/
https://www.morganable.com/the-sacrifice-of-parenting-defining-success-for-yourself/
https://www.morganable.com/a-society-in-disarray-the-home-is-attacking-the-street/
https://www.morganable.com/marriage-demystified-for-the-singles-the-analogy-of-the-shoe/
Teaching Values as a Parenting Strategy
Values in most families are never directly discussed.
Most of us assume our children will develop values automatically, like magic.
Teaching values consciously starts with considering what our values are and finding ways in daily life to discuss — and live — them with our children.
Of course, this is complicated by the obvious fact that what humans say they believe, and what they actually do in practice, are often different.
People don’t always act on their values. What your children will do when faced with difficult choices will depend more on who they are, than on what they say they believe.
Important Questions on Parenting Strategy
It is important to consider some salient questions on parenting strategy. You will find them useful. The questions include but are not limited to :
- What parenting strategy have you been implementing that you couldn’t imagine parenting without?
- How do you help teach your children that they have value?
Dwell on these things
Stay blessed. Stay connected.
