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The first step in the art of true happiness is the appreciation of the importance of detaching yourself. You may need to detach yourself from negative people, unfocused people, unbridled people, friends, family, finance, past, fear, relationship, marriage, future, among others.
A lot has changed in my life over the last few years, but the most important change is this.
I stopped being my own worst enemy or critics and learnt how to love myself by detaching myself from so many things that held me back such as friends, family, finance, past, fear, relationship, marriage, future, among others.
It may sound a little conceited or narcissistic to love yourself but bear with me, it is not. The point isn’t to believe you’re better than others but to accept things about yourself that need to change.
Loving yourself is about developing a healthy and nurturing relationship with you, yes YOU.
It’s about committing to who you are, understanding the many different nuances to your identity, and showing yourself the level of care and intimacy you usually reserve for other people.
At some point in our lives, all of us have some form of attachment. This could be an attachment to things, people, situations, the past and the future.
“When you start to truly love yourself, so many things in your life begin to change for the better.”
These attachments are never healthy.
But you can get yourself attached to things that make you happy.
Trying to hold onto them longer to stay happy, and worry about losing them.
… And when things change. You feel miserable.
Attaching yourself to feelings of happiness and satisfaction makes you dwell on your past or feel anxious about the future with the outcome of failing to experience the joy of the present moment.
Releasing attachment is not a one-time decision. It takes a lot of commitment and conscious effort.
Six Ways to Encourage Yourself During Tough Times
Self – Acceptance: Eleven Ways to Accept Yourself
Whatever You Give to Life, It Gives Back to You
https://chopra.com/articles/5-steps-to-detaching-for-a-happier-life
Here are four ways to set yourself free from attachment:
1. Detach From People
Stop depending on people to acknowledge your worth.
You do not need to premise your worth on the approval of others.
You do not need to depend on others to be happy. Happiness is within you not from others.
2. Detach From Your Past
You can never change what has already happened.
Instead of thinking about what has happened or what didn’t happen…
Focus on whatever is happening now. Now is the only moment you have control over.
3. Detach From the Future
You cannot find happiness and contentment in the future.
The only real thing is the present moment.
………. and your future is based on how you’ll use the present moment.
4. Detach From Your Feelings and Emotions
Attaching yourself to your feelings and emotions make you a prisoner of your own mind.
This applies to both positive and negative emotions.
Let go of past emotions of happiness and regrets.
When you feel overwhelmed with an emotion… Pause.
Observe your feeling with a few deep breaths… And tell yourself.
“This is just my emotion, this is not who I am…”
You’ll notice the overwhelming emotion go away…
Be inspired.
Olayemi O. Agboola
